Fulfillment

originally posted Friday, December 02, 2005

I've been putting off writing about this because I didn't want to jinx it...
I am absolutely exhausted. I've been burning the midnight oil all week. It's gotten to the point where I now need tooth picks to keep my eyes open, but I am happier right now than I've been in years.

I'm finally working on something that has re-ignited my inner flame. My passion for my work used to be a beautiful thing. It was a big roaring fire that was eventually reduced to faintly glowing embers and ash.

I came to Austin over 5 years ago and the tech sector imploded. I've been lucky enough to continue to find work in my specialty (and a somewhat steady but occasionally interrupted income) but there's a big difference between working on something just to pay the bills and working on something you're fired up about.

I've been settling for so long now I was starting to think about exploring a different career path. Dog walker? Hair stylist? Hot dog vendor? Concubine? Oooh, wait... I could be a Hot Dog Vendor / Concubine!

Now I realize I don't need to throw in the towel just yet. It turns out I actually still LOVE what I do; I just hate my current day job. No resources to do actual work. No respect. No appreciation. No stimulation. No innovation. No opportunity for advancement.

The freelance gig is all contrast to that. Freedom. Excitement. Autonomy. Responsibility. Respect. Appreciation for my efforts. (Not to mention a little extra cash flow!)

I'm riding high. My personal stock is up and I'm getting contacted about other positions (some at the current company, some at other places). The best part is that right now I've got the luxury of staying in the current job and trying to find a great fit in the next job! This time I'm going to try to find the right position for a change instead of just finding a paycheck.

(...and the best thing about burning the candle at both ends to do this freelance gig is that I couldn't care less about my love life right now! Turns out when I'm feeling fulfilled with my work, the lack of a man in my life barely registers on my radar. Which helps explain why I was single through most of my 20's...)