Stuffing the holiday bird

originally posted Friday, November 25, 2005

What is it that drives boyfriends from the past to contact you on the holidays? I know the triptophan in turkey induces sleepiness and the occasional couch-bound coma, but come on! Are these guys so lonely? Not banging anyone at the moment and hoping to stuff my turkey for the holiday? ...and yes, I learned that terminology in charm school, thank you very much!

J gives me a holiday shout out, hoping to meet me for coffee if I'm anywhere near him. That's easy enough to ignore given the way things wrapped up that last time I saw him. Delete!

Then today my email inbox shows a message from a name I'm NOT pleased to see. I last saw "The Snake" in July or August... it's much harder to ignore... he's local and it's taken lots of effort for me to move along. I still think about him and I don't want to squander the progress I've made... more importantly I don't want to further abuse my friends by subjecting them to any future tales of woe as a result of having the snake in my life. They've already suffered more than enough.

The timing is interesting though. The snake always did have a naturally sadistic spidey sense. The boy I jettisoned this week reminded me a little of him -- enough that when I was telling someone about the demise of this budding relationship I accidentally slipped up and usedthe snake's name. Doh! Paging Dr. Freud.... Dr. Freud, please pick up the white courtesy phone! Then next thing I know, I've got an email from the Snake. I should have just deleted it but morbid curiosity got the better of me.

Why the hell should this even register on my radar (except that in the past I had it bad for him)? He wasn't asking to start back up with me. He wasn't actually asking anything of me. This requires NO ACTION on my part but I'm still riled up about it. At least I finally feel marginally vindicated to have a shred of evidence that he's thinking about me after all this time, that I had some minimal effect on him, somewhere deep in the tiny memory chip of his robotic heart. I guess that's something. It's not much, and it's not enough, but it's something.