It's either fizzle or sizzle, fo' shizzle

originally posted Sunday, October 30

Ugh. I just had a very pleasant and slightly awkward date. Here's the pleasant:

JM made me dinner at his place and we sat in the hot tub and talked until we were both so overheated we couldn't take it any more. Then we came inside and watched some South Park and a DVD.

Totally low key. Pretty nice, right? His place is great. Ridiculously large for one person and ultra clean thanks to maid service. His cooking was delicious and healthy too! He really does seem to have his shit together... and in an altogether well rounded way.

Now for the awkward:

I definitely felt affectionate toward him during parts of the evening... affectionate but somewhat tormented. He sat so far away from me in the hot tub! A little personal space is good... but too much conveys disdain. Finally, right before we got out... he managed to sidle up next to me... no touching, just next to me. That's OK... I think I was just hoping for a kiss at some point.

I have to admit I was flummoxed by his huge uber-home-theater leather sectional. Very nice... reclining and everything. Not exactly great for sitting next to someone though. After 120 minutes of contortion, I need to call my chiropractor! This after all the recent trauma to the hip… but at least he was next to me. He did hold my hand at one point, and even had an arm around me for a little bit.

Woo! Progress!

But everything was dashed at the end. I can't remember his exact words, but I totally felt dismissed. Of course that was plenty of activity for a date, but it was like "OK, ding, time's up...now get the hell out". I wasn't hoping to stay just wanted a more gracious exit. Oh well. THIS is why I'm doing the 100 First Dates.

I was totally disoriented when I left his house. Was it the potential rejection or just being overwhelmed by suburbia? I couldn't even drive my sorry ass home without a 15 mile detour through Volente. At least it's a pretty drive and I already had the top down. Morcheeba filling my ears with a reminder:

"I think you'll find...

Everybody loves a loser...

So you'll be fine...

...You won't be lonely long."

Are they singing about JM or me?