The Brush Off

Ah, the dreaded brush off....or how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a "No way we're ever gonna have sex" tootsie pop?

Chemistry is a funny thing. It can sizzle. It can spark. It can even be ignited for a long, slow burn....so how long do you wait before you know if you've got it with someone or not? You've been going out. You've been having fun and laughing. You're feeling affectionate, but do you really want to GO THERE?

If I'm going to get through 100 First Dates, I can't invest too much time to find out. I'm going to institute a general rule of thumb of three strikes and you're out. This way neither my dates nor I invest too much. There's no opportunity for bitterness when you get cut loose after three dates.

Yes, I may be missing out on some opportunities for the slow burn, but this feels fairer. It hurts more when you've invested time and energy into something and nothing develops. I'm a bit sensitive about that since my wasted time with the Snake. Not bitter, but sensitive. We had the physical chemistry, but real substance never developed and he was never really interested in that anyway. Conversely, with the Bear I had substance, but no physical chemistry. It was quite possibly the worst sex I ever had. So bad, in fact, as it was happening I was contemplating the cleanliness of my bathtub and grout... and wishing I could get some Ajax and scrub it right then instead! Which is worse?

So, no more investment of time beyond three dates unless I feel that all systems are go. Yes, we've been going out. Yes, I like you. Yes, we've been having fun. Yes, you ARE just that into me. Yes, I feel affectionate, but the $64,000 question is:

Do I want to see you naked?