Surrender to the setup

originally posted Thursday, February 23, 2006

I went out last night to see Surrender Avenue at Room 710. The band was so much better than any of the demos on the website and I really enjoyed the show. Great guitar work, and a diverse set that included lots of 80's influences like REM and the Smithereens.

I should have stayed home. I didn't have time to go out last night. I was overtired and should have been home working on a deadline, but sometimes I'm a petulant 3 year old instead of a responsible 32 year old.

I don't wanna work tonight! You can't make me!!!!
I wanna go out and play! ...
and the only way I'm able to rally for whatever I'm procrastinating about is to just give in a little and get it out of my system. So, I hauled my sorry self downtown. Aside from wanting to see and support the band, I wanted to catch up with some other friends that I just don't get to see often enough.

It was fun to see some people I hadn't seen in forever and a day and catch up on what's going on in their lives. A much, much younger former coworker was there and although it was fun talking (and flirting?) with him, it also felt pretty creepy. This guy always comes across as a decade older than he really is. Somehow, I always forget that. He's perfectly legal, mind you, but that doesn't make it right.

We were chatting a little too long and I had a bit too much (ok, alot too much) to drink. Why is there such a tight coupling between attraction and alcohol intake? *sigh*

I do know better though and thankfully, Carrie rescued us from walking out at the same time. I had already stayed far past my intended time but paradoxically, it would be safer for me to walk back to my car alone. Unfortunately, this rescue also included an extra dollop of humiliation.

God bless Carrie. She means well. She was having a really tough night though and somehow she became hell bent on marketing (nay, pimping!) me to her friend Mike. He's a cute guy. He seemed nice enough and took it like a champ, but I felt so bad for him. It was so painfully awkward.

If the guy had an interest, he would have made a move on his own. If he had even the slightest interest, it's probably been squelched by the hard sell. What could the poor guy do when Carrie was so being insistent? I'm all for meeting new people and I'm not adverse to being set up by friends but it doesn't exactly bolster my personal brand when I'm being forced on some innocent bystander like produce past its prime.

Date 81 - Ticket to Nowhere

originally posted Sunday, February 19, 2006

M had been trying to get me to meet him for a week or two. I've been insanely busy with the day job and consulting on the side, hitting the gym, physical therapy appointments and life in general.

I know better than to give an unproven commodity access to prime time, but I felt so bad at having turned down all his previous requests that when he asked me out early in the week for Saturday night, I gave him dibs. He got on my calendar early -- that's probably the hardest part of dating me. The same day I turned down at least 3 other offers for Saturday night. First come, first served.

It was a full day: walking the dog, hitting the gym, shopping for and attending yet another bridal shower. I just wanted a nap, but instead I went home and hopped in the shower then put myself together for the date and debated my options in footwear.

I can't wear my killer boots because M is a shorty at 5'9" or 5'10". He's a software engineer with an interest in salsa dancing and is newly transplanted from Chicago. I opted for some chic pointy flats which should work well in case we decided to hit the dance floor later in the evening.

It was freezing cold last night. Austin has been having some freakish weather lately. 80 degrees one day, 40 degrees the next. Now it's drizzling and hovering in the low 30's. I wanted to look a little sexy, but didn't want to completely freeze.

I finally settled on a leather jacket that works with my outfit, should keep me warm, and isn't too over the top. Grabbed my car keys, said adios to the dog and I was on my way to Malaga for some red wine and tapas. Two minutes after getting on the freeway, my cell phone buzzed to let me know I got a message.

The voicemail is from M. He's canceling.

15 minutes before I'm supposed to meet him downtown.

I'm less than thrilled.

His excuse is extreme. I've never had anyone pull a card like this before - this is either completely true or total crap. For the first 5 seconds of the voicemail I'm sympathetic. Then something clicks in my gut and I call bullshit. I listened to rest of the message but only really heard "blah, blah, blah".

Someone has had a miscarriage and he's out at some bar with the woman's brother offering sympathy and a shoulder to cry on. Wow.

Since I'm out, dressed and on the road, I call a good friend to let him know I'm headed to his regular watering hole and that dinner's on me. He listens to the voicemail too and has a similar reaction. He's not able to decide whether or not this guy is for real. It really could go either way.

So, here's your option to weigh in. I'm currently on the fence. Should this guy get a second chance to make a first impression? Leave a comment.

Date 82 - Trulucky

originally posted Friday, February 10, 2006

Last night's date with P was a long time in the making. We've been chatting for so long that I wasn't nervous at all. I knew it was going to feel more like Old Home Week than a first date. Besides, who's got time to be nervous when I'm working so much that the days run together? Lately it's a good day when I can find a spare 15 minutes to shower.

Recently, all my deadlines have been converging to make the perfect storm. Hurricane Annabelle. Bleh! It was nice to have a fun excuse to put myself together for a change.

I hurried home, took care of the dog, hopped in the shower and contemplated my wardrobe while drying my hair and slapping a little makeup on my face. How is it possible to feel so unfashionable with such a full closet? I knew P was going to be a bit metro sexual so I wanted to look pulled together. Most guys don't care if you're wearing a paper bag (so long as it's revealing in the right places), but I knew P would be more savvy than that. I pulled together an "of the moment" look with some beige suede knee high boots, sassy skirt, sheer silk crepe top and a fitted denim blazer and then high tailed it downtown to Truluck's.

I walked inside and took a quick look around, then saw his friendly wave from the bar. Not only did he look exactly like his pictures, but he has a really warm and engaging smile. I knew we were going to have a fun evening.

A financial analyst from Houston, P was exactly as tall (short!) as advertised. His dark hair, goatee and deep olive complexion made his light blue green eyes captivating... but almost in a freakish way. I think they actually changed color over the course of the evening, but initially I wondered if he was wearing colored contacts. He had a "Mr. Freeze" thing going on.

Well dressed and well mannered, P was warm and friendly. He seemed so sincere in his many compliments that I really believed he thought I was gorgeous. He made me feel gorgeous... like he was so thrilled to be out and be seen with me. My beautiful hair... my soft but piercing eyes... my lovely smile... my exotic look (that was a new one). That may even have been true but I'm savvy enough to know that men who love women are usually expert marksmen with a compliment.

He ordered us a lovely bottle of cab and a plate of seared tuna to start with. Our conversation was all over the place and we were laughing along through dinner. Film, religion (Lutherans in particular), skiing, spirituality, education, ethnicity and language... it was interesting and effortless. I can't believe he forgot to bring the ring... he was supposed to ask me to marry him (we'd been joking about that for some time). After a wonderful filet for him and crab stuffed snapper for me we decided to share a dessert. I've never seen a man look at a dessert tray with such unadulterated lust; this man has a special relationship with chocolate.

Boxing up our dessert for later, we adjourned to Ringside for an after dinner drink but were rebuffed by the lack of live music. P seized the opportunity to kiss me then. It was nice... but with me in the boots it was definitely a Tom Cruise / Nicole Kidman thing happening.

We came back to Truluck's to enjoy the soft piano and have another drink. At which point we got to the topic of politics. Of course, someone so well off from Houston is bound to be a Republican. (sigh) ... and he was doing so well. It's not a fatal flaw, but we certainly don't share the same perspective.

I was a little concerned (but not overly) about the amount of alcohol he was consuming over the course of the evening but he seemed confident and comfortable with it. Scotch before dinner, a bottle of red (minus my glass), port with dessert, and another Scotch. I left him to drive back to his hotel while I headed over to Iron Cactus to meet up with some law students having a charity event there

All in all, it was a very fun and pleasant date. I wish he lived in Austin... or I could find more men of his caliber locally. P wants to go out again. I'm not headed to Houston anytime soon, but if I'm not involved with anyone and he wants to take me out for another nice dinner, I certainly won't object.

Cease and desist?

originally posted Friday, February 03, 2006

A hot guy friend thinks I'm on my way to acquiring a fatal flaw.
...like you can have only one!...

Somehow he's got the notion that by the end of 100 First Dates I'm going to turn into Emily Dickinson. My first reaction was "Sweet! I'll get some serious royalties!" Until he reminded me of the complete isolation and the probability of lots of cats.... "Ummmm, ok... not so much..."

Maybe there's something to it though. I was thinking about the concepts of protection and defensiveness last night. I'm definitely more protective of myself than I used to be. I've got a candy coating now that I didn't have before. I used to just melt right in your hand. Messy.

I haven't been feeling much of anything lately. Perhaps because I'm working so much. Perhaps it's because with the kind of volume involved in 100 First Dates, I cut out the emotional middleman and pass the savings onto YOU!

I have been a bit concerned lately that I might be evolving into an emotional robot. J (the nice guy who lingers on) cancelled our date on Wednesday due to a schedule conflict, so when D (whom I haven't gone out with since sometime in December)continued to pester me for a date I finally agreed to see him again. It was really nice. Very comfortable. Very generic. Very hollow.

Seriously though, maybe he's onto something here though; I have to give this some serious thought. I hadn't really ever considered that going on 100 First Dates might be damaging me.

The alternative might be finally finishing all my home improvement projects and inviting Better Homes and Gardens over for the photo spread. Or getting back to my vocal projects or other artistic endeavors.

What do you think? I'm only 1/5 of the way done.