Date 85 - Eager Beaver

Friday, December 30, 2005

C started corresponding with me right before the holidays and I was flattered by his interest. He wrote well, indicating a modicum of intelligence. His profile seemed good natured, well rounded and compelling...but there are some things that just don't come across online. In C's case that was to his benefit.

I didn't even get a chance to get out of my car in the parking lot of Sushi Sake before C pounced on me. He was definitely enthusiastic. He actually seemed to be as tall as advertised, but only vaguely resembled his picture.

When we got inside, it seemed like he'd never actually been to a restaurant before. How hard is it to say "two, please"? Since he just looked at the hostess dumbfounded I was stuck with that and specifying a table vs. sushi bar and then asking for a booth. It turns out that C isn't too familiar with sushi. That's simultaneous demerits for lack of worldliness and bonus points for being easy going and having a sense of culinary adventure. Spicy Susan, Yokohama, escarel and unagi: although I didn't mind ordering for us both, it definitely made me feel like a man. At least he picked up the check!

C was good natured, but awkward. I thought it was because he wasn't interested. Right out of the gate, he used the "tell me all about you" routine. Perhaps you're familiar with it. It's the sad ploy whereby men who aren't attracted to you try to get you chattering so they don't have to engage in actual conversation with you. While you're talking, they hear Charlie Brown chatter (wah,wah....wah-wah-wah-wahhhh....) and only pay enough attention to ask the next question based on the last 3 words you spoke.

I was shocked when he asked to see me again.

It was obvious that C wasn't the guy for me. He's nice and sweet but there's not much to him. There was too much of a Leave It To Beaver quality about him for me to have any interest. Although he might not know it himself, I know who he's supposed to be with. He belongs with the doughy fat girl in an apron. A homebody. An Aunt Bea wannabe. Someone who watches soap operas, reads the latest Danielle Steele books and has a passion for baked goods and cleaning products.

....that is so NOT me.

Suicide Watch

originally posted Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Current mood: uppity

It's the holiday trifecta: Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years...and everyone is freaking out.

"Oh my god! You're in town for the holiday? ....What?!?! And you're spending it alone? ... And you intend to actually get some stuff done on the ACTUAL HOLIDAY?!?! Nooooooo!"

What is wrong with people? Can't a busy girl get some peace and quiet? A little "alone time" if you will? I'm a happy girl. Do these people think the moment I'm alone I'm going to OD on Aleve in a feeble attempt to "stop the insanity"?

It just so happens that Christmas came early for me this year. I made a conscious choice to enjoy what little down time I'd have before the New Year and the chaos of three more freelance projects. I've been looking forward to this time alone for weeks now. I know I'm not going to have time for sleep or proper hygiene in another week, so I'm savoring every moment of solitude now.

It's nothing personal people; I'd just rather be alone doing my low-key thing and enjoying my freedom instead of eating your holiday ham and sweet potatoes with a side of lame-neighbors-you-barely-know and an extra helping of dysfunctional-family-awkwardness.

Note to boys: It might be different if we were having an actual relationship, or you had asked me in advance. Asking me over on Christmas eve doesn't count when you knew I was going to be here a month in advance. And I DON'T want to meet your family!

Thanks for the invitation, but when I decline, please just accept it graciously so we can still be friends.

Making Merry

originally posted Sunday, December 11, 2005

Finally... I am vindicated! I didn't get to go out for Halloween this year because of my crazy hip injury, but I got my costume fix for the year anyway as one of more than 150 Santas rampaging through downtown. It was an awesome time. Very "weird"...which we love here in Austin, TX.

It was exactly what I needed until I saw "the Snake" at the final bar of the evening. I went from 100% fun to feeling like I had to hurl. Unbelievable. I didn't speak to him or interact in any way. I'd like to think he didn't see me, but I'm sure he probably did. I tried to suck it up and just have a good time, but I caved in and bolted. ...and then felt like a total jackass for continuing to give him power over me... for letting him win.

Another Santa offered consolation to me on the long walk back to my car. He was very sweet, and perhaps he'll be the next of 100 first dates. My heart wasn't in it when he smooched me, but it did help take my mind off of the Snake. It was nice to be reminded that there are plenty of great men out there that want to be with me, and that I've already given a certain reptilian robot too much free rent.

Date 86 - Benny Ha-Ha

originally posted Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Working over 100 hours a week is bound to put a cramp in anyone's dating calendar. J has been trying to meet me for ages so to celebrate a major milestone with my freelance work and the return of some free time to my schedule I finally agreed to meet him last night.

It was freezing last night so I channeled any blind date nervousness into my selection of footwear. Since J clocks in at 6'4" I figured it was safe to finally break out a pair of my new fabulous black suede knee high boots. Not that he would see them under my jeans, but it was an opportunity to wear heels for a change and I didn't want to pass that up. Precariously perched atop the 3" heels, I was feeling confident and sassy. Maybe it was because I didn't really need this date. Maybe because it was so impromptu.

Earlier in the afternoon we were debating having drinks vs. dinner when J had the brilliant idea to go to Benihana. Japanese dinner AS theater! Much better than the fairly generic Arboretum locations we were thinking of. I knew it would be a great meal and it definitely sent the signal that he wasn't afraid to spend a little coin on a random internet girl - always a good sign.

I arrived promptly at 6:30 and the place was a ghost town. I spot J sitting up in the bar. I'm assuming it was him since he was the only man in the place and bore ever-the-slightest resemblance to the pictures I'd seen. What is it about men putting ancient pictures on dating websites?

We sat down to dinner with our chef of questionable ethnicity, "Kreeeees". Hailing from "San Antokyo", we speculated that he was either from some little known Eurasian country or a combination of places. Maybe he was Spench or Franish? J was working on a beer and my glass of Pinot shattered any unwillingness to chat. We shared war stories, dodged flying shrimp and laughed our way through dinner. J was a great sport but missed an opportunity to lob a compliment my way when the woman seated to my left commented on my beauty. Poor guy... she beat him to the punch.

We were still in full swing when J got the check. Now we had to determine what the next venue would be. Neither one of us wanted to drink more, so we were going to head to Chez Zee to sit and chat a bit more, but then we realized that Waterloo was practically next door so that seemed a better choice. We chatted and laughed some more. Turns out we share some of the same goals.

J isn't a sexy man, but he is attractive. There's something very warm and inviting about him. He's a solid guy. Although he never went to college he's done very well for himself. He's obviously smart, stable and ambitious but without the razor sharp edge. He still seems relaxed and laid back.

He asked for my number a couple of times during the evening but somehow I managed to deflect him without realizing I had even done it. Bad form on my part. He pressed again at the end of the evening and I managed to find a card to give him.

J's a great guy. I'm not sure our Venn diagram overlaps enough for anything long term, but he was a wonderful date and I'm very glad to have met him.

Fulfillment

originally posted Friday, December 02, 2005

I've been putting off writing about this because I didn't want to jinx it...
I am absolutely exhausted. I've been burning the midnight oil all week. It's gotten to the point where I now need tooth picks to keep my eyes open, but I am happier right now than I've been in years.

I'm finally working on something that has re-ignited my inner flame. My passion for my work used to be a beautiful thing. It was a big roaring fire that was eventually reduced to faintly glowing embers and ash.

I came to Austin over 5 years ago and the tech sector imploded. I've been lucky enough to continue to find work in my specialty (and a somewhat steady but occasionally interrupted income) but there's a big difference between working on something just to pay the bills and working on something you're fired up about.

I've been settling for so long now I was starting to think about exploring a different career path. Dog walker? Hair stylist? Hot dog vendor? Concubine? Oooh, wait... I could be a Hot Dog Vendor / Concubine!

Now I realize I don't need to throw in the towel just yet. It turns out I actually still LOVE what I do; I just hate my current day job. No resources to do actual work. No respect. No appreciation. No stimulation. No innovation. No opportunity for advancement.

The freelance gig is all contrast to that. Freedom. Excitement. Autonomy. Responsibility. Respect. Appreciation for my efforts. (Not to mention a little extra cash flow!)

I'm riding high. My personal stock is up and I'm getting contacted about other positions (some at the current company, some at other places). The best part is that right now I've got the luxury of staying in the current job and trying to find a great fit in the next job! This time I'm going to try to find the right position for a change instead of just finding a paycheck.

(...and the best thing about burning the candle at both ends to do this freelance gig is that I couldn't care less about my love life right now! Turns out when I'm feeling fulfilled with my work, the lack of a man in my life barely registers on my radar. Which helps explain why I was single through most of my 20's...)