Improving US/France International Relations

As usual, the work week was intense, and lots of long hours. It was a treat to have colleagues in from Ireland (American ex-pats -- one VERY cute) and have some decadent dinners with them. I think France has spoiled me - I may not be able to afford to eat when I get back to the US...my heart may not be able to survive the fat content either. Foie gras, boeuf bourginon, bordeaux, creme caramel, crepes, ...did I mention the foie gras? Go enjoy some now before it's outlawed around the world. ...and yes, the guilt is killing me, but I said a prayer of thanks and lit a candle for that duck's delicious sacrifice.

Sadly, just before the weekend, my 5 year old digital camera finally snapped its last shuttering shot and died. No more pictures. But by not stopping to take pictures I managed to cram a record amount of site-seeing into my final weekend.

Saturday morning I hit the Louvre. It was a surgical strike.

I was NOT playing around. If you're going to survive the world's largest museum, you had better get there early, have a pre-purchased ticket to avoid the lines, and you'd better have a plan of attack. I arrived before opening, and thanks to my trusty Rick Steve's guide book managed to share a few moments alone with Mona before the teaming masses arrived to worship. The art was amazing; the architecture, sublime. It killed me not to have my camera... at one point on my walk to tour Napolean's lavish apartments I had a perfect Paris shot from a window: the pyramid, the palace and the Eiffel tower in the background. C'est la vie. At least I have justification now to buy a new toy when I get home.

I left the Louvre and headed over to Ile St. Louis and Ile la Cite to tool around for a bit. I sat down at a cute little cafe just next to the bridge and thought I'd have lunch, but an obnoxious and LOUD American couple sat down next to me, practically in my lap and completely broke my mood. I opted out before ordering and instead watched an awesome jazz quartet perform on the bridge (a perfect Paris moment) and then toured Notre Dame. A service was in session and I took a seat to enjoy mass being recited in French. I strolled around on the Seine for awhile and then went shopping on St. Honore for a bit. Very trendy, and too expensive for me with the dollar being so weak.

For my final night in Paris, I knew I'd have to rally. I found my way back to the hotel for a late nap, did a little research and got myself together to go out. I had a hard time deciding between ultra trendy Buddha Bar and Hotel Costes. I wasn't in the mood for ultra hip lounging with the beautiful people though. Alone, I was feeling a bit intimidated, so at the last minute I went with a completely different option called Batofar, dancing on an old ship docked along the Seine.

Of course, I wasn't alone for long. I descended into the bowels of the ship and someone immediately took a liking to me. We had a great time dancing the night away. I thought I was doing OK by heading out so late, but evidently things don't really get bumpin' until 3am in Paris. As the crowd thickened, my host got a bit defensive. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention to the scene, just having fun. Evidently, a few other guys were edging in on his turf wanting to dance with me. Some of them tres adorable. A bit of a scuffle ensued, but thankfully didn't get far. Of course, I don't want to incite violence, but it IS great for the ego to be the object of such adoration!

One of the other contenders finally broke through to me but not through the language barrier. Me - no Francais; he - no Anglais. We settled for Espanol, but honestly, once he opened his mouth the mystique was gone. By around 4:45 I'd had my fill of dancing and decided to walk back to the bank to find a taxi to take me back to the other side of the city. My new pair of black patent leather pumps was obliterated, but the adventure was well worth it. It's not every night you dance on a ship in Paris.

Somehow I managed to wake up while breakfast was still being served in the hotel. I started packing things up and checked my bags before heading out to Musee d'Orsay. What a glorious train station this place must have been in it's day... it's pretty fabulous now. I saw some great works, but most enjoyed the collection of pastels and some art nouveau pieces, as well as the incredible view of the city from the balcony all the way up to the Sacre Couer.

Outside the museum, fortified by an orangina and a crepe, I was back on the train to the hotel. It was time to bid Paris "au revoir" and catch the plane. Next stop: Frankfurt.

Date 69 - Parlez vous amour?

Bonjour mis amis!

After arriving in Paris this weeked, I went down to Champs Elysee on Saturday and strolled around. Sampled tea and macaroons at a place that a friend recommended. Amazingly delicious. Unbelievably rich flavors: raspberry, toffee, caramel, chocolate.... mmmmmmm!!!!

The weather has been unseasonably warm. After walking around the Champs Elysee all afternoon, I was "glistening" (code for sweaty girl) and ready to get back to my hotel for another shower. I went down to the metro and waited for my train, 10 seconds later a guy plopped down on the seat next to me and started chatting me up. (Mind you, I looked disgusting and smelled even worse. It was a nasty hot day.)

I politely explained that I don't speak French, and asked if he spoke English. Before I knew it he was asking me if I had already eaten dinner and if I would accompany him... So there, ya go. Not even in the country for 12 hours, don't even speak the language and I'm on a date.

I think that's a testimony of how lonely I'm getting on the road that I'm now willing to accept a date from a total stranger in the metro.

At some point it occurred to me that if I turned up dead it would probably take the folks at work back in Austin a few days to notice. I'm scrappy though... I figured if push came to shove I could probablz take him. Overconfidence is clearly a problem for me.

We went down to the left bank and ate a nice little restaurant. Conversation was a bit challenging because of the language barrier, but still interesting. Evidently, I'm perceived as even more "uppity" in France than the US, go figure. Great meal. Nice wine. One of the perks is that bordeaux is not an import here! ;)

We went for a walk after dinner and he took me to see the small replica of the statue of liberty on the Seine. Then the La Tour Eiffel. He was holding my hand and even bought me a rose. Tres romantique. But I honestly didn't feel a thing... it was nice to have company, but the whole thing just made me long for a real boyfriend to be sharing that with.

He saw me back to my hotel after a circuitous walk and rode with me on the metro to get back. Of course, he wanted to spend the night, but I wasn't interested. I think the guy would have humped my leg on the train if I'd let him, and I hadn't even consented to a kiss. It's not like I was encouraging him. :P
I totally understand the Pepe le Peu cartoons from my childhood now... they are NOT exagerating!

Sunday I went out to Versailles.

What a pain in the ass.

The train I needed wasn't running because of some maintenance or something. Of course, not speaking French, this wasn't easily communicated to me. I got there eventually, but it was a huge effort. Lots of transferring at stations. Once I got there and saw the lines to get inside, I opted to just do the gardens instead. Words cannot convey the scale of the place. It's ridiculous. I spent all day and didn't even see all of the gardens! What's really amazing is the fountains... all of it done without pumps or electricity. It's a marvel of engineering.

Yesterday was our first day of work (although I was working on email over the weekend, of course). Boy, do I appreciate being in a Western country. There are numbers on the building, and they're in order! Hooray! Unlike Tokyo, I didn't spend two hours trying to find the place. I just took the metro to this stop... tried to find the right exit (impossible even with help from a kind Parisian), but easily figured things out from street level. We're in a hip and colorful little area, so I'm hoping to get to walk around at some point and explore.

Greetings from the land of big hair, fake boobs and relentless cheerleaders

I was headed down south to drop the dog at the petsitter and handling last minute business by cell phone when she got that look. Rush hour traffic and my dog do not mix. Somehow I managed to divert her in time; she narrowly missed getting sick on my briefcase (thank god!). Leaving her broke my heart, especially knowing how much MORE time I'm about to be away from her with interviews and 5 weeks of upcoming international projects. As I started to leave, she broke free and tried to chase the car as I backed out of the driveway. My heart shattered.

I thought I'd save some time by flying to Dallas yesterday ... well, maybe not time since flying and driving are about equal when factoring in airport security, but at least gain some productivity, avoid another speeding ticket and needless mileage on my jalopy. The flight was delayed over an hour though, so scratch that productivity gain... and add in a concussion from the poor placement of seating at gate 10 and the handrail strategically placed directly behind my head. Ouch!

I did however meet an interesting Italian woman who is connecting me with free triathalon training. Before you break into hysterical laughter, let me clarify, it's a mini... the Danskin. And you are allowed to walk instead of run. My dislocating kneecap wouldn't tolerate anything else.

Thank god the day is almost over. It's certainly been a Monday, although I think I got most of my gremlins out of the way last night. I was on the computer past 2:30 dealing with tech support in India before finally giving up the fight. Exhausted, I fell into bed to catch a few hours of sleep. When my wakeup call rang at 6:00, I was so disoriented that I kept trying to answer the remote control.

Somewhere Between Agony and Optimism

Someone recently asked me what I want... what I'm looking for in a relationship and what I want out of life. I didn't have any concrete answers and maybe that's a problem. A lack of vision. Maybe I've been afraid of disappointment - that by hoping for something specific I'd be devastated when it didn't arrive. For instance, I've never really thought about children. I know I don't want to be a single mother, and since there's no significant other on the horizon, it's never seemed pertinent. What if I do want kids? What then?

Somewhere between agony and optimism...
I heard that line on a network TV drama tonight. I love the way it sums things up. I feel like I'm being tested right now. I said goodbye to a great guy that had potential and we'd barely even said hello.

We'd been out a couple of times when he told me how much he really liked me and that he wanted to keep dating me. I felt the same.
He told me some unmentionable things he'd like to do to me; I was interested.
He told me he didn't want to be involved in a serious relationship and I heard him. Game over.

He inquired later that night what I thought about what he'd said. My response: "I think you're great, and I'm definitely attracted to you, but I don't think we're in the same place." He even called a week later about a date, evidently the message, so softly delivered, didn't quite sink in the first time.

There was a time when that would have been enough for me, when I could have just been in it for a little fun, a diversion, a "good time"... but it's just not enough anymore. I've been down that road and it's a dead end. I know if I spend enough time with someone I like, I'm going to become attached. I think I'd rather be alone than waste my time with someone who isn't really available. I don't have alot of room in my life as it is... better to leave what little space I have for someone real, than to fill it with artificial sweetener.

Date 70 - Dinner in Paradise

There's alot going on these days. Plenty of day to day details and trying to corral various work and personal projects, in the hope of someday seeing the bottom of my email inbox, a laundry basket or my closet floor. But it hasn't been all mundane, there's been a bit of soul searching too. I've felt a bit juju deficient lately. A bit run down. Not quite melancholy, just weary, and also unsexy. The soul searching has been about big things... trying to open myself up to various "potentials" and "opportunities".

Some of these are opportunities that 1300 people a day apply just to get a shot at, but not me. I'm being sought out by Goodco and instead of being elated, I'm feeling stressed out by what the interview will do to my already full schedule, and how psycho my dog may become after more time away from home. Then there's the 3 million what-ifs about relocation and cost of living. It would be poetic irony for me to finally complete the remodeling projects and never get to live in the finished house, but it's not what I want.

What DO I want though? Ay, there's the rub!

It's an interesting time. I've been taking some initiative lately. Had a little "Come to Jesus" meeting with my new boss to let her know that I'm a bit frustrated and although committed, needing to manage my own career and ensure I'll be appropriately utilized and valued. I think she understands that I'm a flight risk without me giving her an ultimatum.

My career is doing much better outside of the office though. My panel at SXSW was accepted and we kicked off Geek Open Season at the SXSW party at Beauty Bar. It was cool to reconnect with old colleagues and meet new random tipsy geeks. Funnier still was looking for an old colleague I saw walk in the bar, but lost sight of, only to be called out by some random guy I've never seen before.

At least I thought I'd never seen him before. He didn't look familiar at all and the nametag didn't tell me anything. Turns out it was Elvis from the annual holiday bar crawl. I didn't recognize him without the wig and shades... and was shocked to realize that anyone could identify me! I mean, I somehow thought that wearing a costume would render me anonymous, but evidently reindeer antlers aren't much of a disguise.

We chatted for a bit; he introduced me to a few folks that I needed to meet (including my latest crush Hugh Forrest *sigh*... so dreamy). We enjoyed a few cocktails and then he took me to a late dinner at Paradise Cafe a few blocks down the road.

We talked for a few hours and enjoyed some interesting and offbeat conversation. Ah, these alternative males. He's creative and cool, but will he be normal enough to sustain my long term interest? Time will tell.

He's already called to schedule our next date, but deadlines, previous theater plans, a friend's gig and the superbowl are looming. It'll have to wait.

Date 71 - Fling, Flang, Flung

I went to a very groovy party this weekend. I forced myself to go. I haven't been sleeping well lately and really just wanted to veg out and make up for lost "quality time" with the dog, but I knew it would do me good to go out and be social.

Besides, the new year's resolution is more joy - less pain, and what could be more joyful than a raucous little costume party with some random peeps. I did my best to put together a festive ensemble without going to unnecessary trouble or expense. It gave me an excuse to wear some bling that's otherwise too bold for the office, and not exactly date appropriate.

When I arrived, the party wasn't quite hoppin' but was starting to simmer. I started to mingle and chit chat. Some interesting guys but no real contenders... especially when I realized the tall cute guy I was talking to was someone's serious boyfriend. Doh! I met a couple of excellent girls though and got their numbers, and it's always good to renew the ranks of the single girlfriends. Sometimes I think that's better than meeting men!

As the evening wore on, there were a couple of hotties in attendance. Much to my delight, an especially cute one took a shine to me. I'm not sure how much brain was in that pretty little head of his, but his likeness to Keith Olbermann was a total turn on and my (potentially) unwarranted geek crush was in full bloom.

We continued to interact throughout the evening when I started to pick up on his playboy vibe, I politely and discreetly told him that although I was definitely attracted to him, we were after two very different things. I was interested in more substance and since he seemed to be more interested in action, perhaps he'd do better with someone else at the party.

Undaunted, he continued his pursuit and well... eventually, he finally caught me. We left the party and stayed up all night.

He's already called and left a message to follow up. Sweet. No plans yet, but we'll see.

Date 72 - Ringing In the New Year

The New Year -- It wasn't with a bang. More like a whimper.

I feel like I've known D for ages. We connected online and developed a sort of friendship. He lives in Houston. I like knowing that he was out there and rooting for me. We'd talked about meeting for ages, but with his travel schedule and mine it just never seemed to happen, and frankly, wasn't that much of a priority for me.

D decided for us though. No time like the present. He booked a room at the Omni downtown and alerted his college friends in town that he'd be visiting.

It was high alert. Although I was stoked about meeting him, I was dreading it too. I wasn't on my A-game...and truth be told, I liked this guy!

I'd been sick for weeks with some viral / bronchial / cedar fever nonsense, and still wasn't completely well. But more importantly, my head wasn't in the game... I was focused on the house. Baseboards... flooring... paint...

I was relishing my time away from the office. Almost two whole weeks over Christmas and New Years. I didn't check email once... although I did occasionally experience anxiety over what nightmares would await my return. The "unplugging" was really good for me. I focused on making a serious dent in the remodeling projects -- and although I didn't get as far as I would have liked, major progress was made, and I felt like I was finally regaining momentum. It had been more than a week since I'd worn normal clothes or makeup.

This date seemed like a disruption.
A distraction.

And I just felt weird meeting this guy that I actually knew. It wasn't like it was a blind date... and yet it was. And somehow he convinced me to give up prime time - New Years Eve!

I spent most of the day running errands and trying to expunge physical evidence of my manual labor. I scrubbed as much paint off my hands as humanly possible and then splurged on a manicure. I went shopping for a new outfit and ultimately wore something that I already had. I slapped on some makeup and got my hair did and hightailed it downtown to the hotel to get him for dinner.

I walked into the lobby and there he was. *sigh*
He looked great. ... and he's my perfect height too... I felt positively girlish as we walked a few blocks down to Carmelo's for dinner.

The guy had it together. He'd been through finishing school... all subtle but noticeable and lovely manners. For instance, he took the curbside as we walked... had his hand on the small of my back when we were on unstable ground... opened the doors...

Dinner was delish, but it was obvious that he didn't feel well. I worried for a moment that it just wasn't working out, but then my empathy kicked in. I'd been sick for weeks and remembered how bad it was while I was still at work and felt like hell but didn't "look sick". I felt his forehead and he was burning up. We had planned to go to Antone's or another venue later, but I gave him a free pass. He needed to rest, and although cancelling our plans seemed lame, I certainly wasn't going out solo on a major holiday (although, you never know who you might smooch).

I walked him back to the hotel. We held hands. I gave him a hug goodnight (germs, you know...can't be too careful).

He insisted that we have brunch the next day before he drove back to Houston.
I appreciated the sentiment, but this seemed like even more of a pain in the ass. Now I'd lose two days on the house projects instead of one. It was New Year's Eve and I was home by 10:30. At least I'd get a decent night's sleep.

We went to Chez Zee for brunch the next day and had some of the most horrendous service ever. Evidently our order never got put in. Brunch would up lasting about 3 1/2 hours. Although we've always had great conversations, at that point even your fantasy dinner party with all the dead famous people would be flagging.

Finally, I bid him adieu.
We still chat, but I think some of the mystique is gone. At least for him.
I'm no longer his fantasy girl next door online... now I inhabit the real world.