Date 70 - Dinner in Paradise

There's alot going on these days. Plenty of day to day details and trying to corral various work and personal projects, in the hope of someday seeing the bottom of my email inbox, a laundry basket or my closet floor. But it hasn't been all mundane, there's been a bit of soul searching too. I've felt a bit juju deficient lately. A bit run down. Not quite melancholy, just weary, and also unsexy. The soul searching has been about big things... trying to open myself up to various "potentials" and "opportunities".

Some of these are opportunities that 1300 people a day apply just to get a shot at, but not me. I'm being sought out by Goodco and instead of being elated, I'm feeling stressed out by what the interview will do to my already full schedule, and how psycho my dog may become after more time away from home. Then there's the 3 million what-ifs about relocation and cost of living. It would be poetic irony for me to finally complete the remodeling projects and never get to live in the finished house, but it's not what I want.

What DO I want though? Ay, there's the rub!

It's an interesting time. I've been taking some initiative lately. Had a little "Come to Jesus" meeting with my new boss to let her know that I'm a bit frustrated and although committed, needing to manage my own career and ensure I'll be appropriately utilized and valued. I think she understands that I'm a flight risk without me giving her an ultimatum.

My career is doing much better outside of the office though. My panel at SXSW was accepted and we kicked off Geek Open Season at the SXSW party at Beauty Bar. It was cool to reconnect with old colleagues and meet new random tipsy geeks. Funnier still was looking for an old colleague I saw walk in the bar, but lost sight of, only to be called out by some random guy I've never seen before.

At least I thought I'd never seen him before. He didn't look familiar at all and the nametag didn't tell me anything. Turns out it was Elvis from the annual holiday bar crawl. I didn't recognize him without the wig and shades... and was shocked to realize that anyone could identify me! I mean, I somehow thought that wearing a costume would render me anonymous, but evidently reindeer antlers aren't much of a disguise.

We chatted for a bit; he introduced me to a few folks that I needed to meet (including my latest crush Hugh Forrest *sigh*... so dreamy). We enjoyed a few cocktails and then he took me to a late dinner at Paradise Cafe a few blocks down the road.

We talked for a few hours and enjoyed some interesting and offbeat conversation. Ah, these alternative males. He's creative and cool, but will he be normal enough to sustain my long term interest? Time will tell.

He's already called to schedule our next date, but deadlines, previous theater plans, a friend's gig and the superbowl are looming. It'll have to wait.

Date 71 - Fling, Flang, Flung

I went to a very groovy party this weekend. I forced myself to go. I haven't been sleeping well lately and really just wanted to veg out and make up for lost "quality time" with the dog, but I knew it would do me good to go out and be social.

Besides, the new year's resolution is more joy - less pain, and what could be more joyful than a raucous little costume party with some random peeps. I did my best to put together a festive ensemble without going to unnecessary trouble or expense. It gave me an excuse to wear some bling that's otherwise too bold for the office, and not exactly date appropriate.

When I arrived, the party wasn't quite hoppin' but was starting to simmer. I started to mingle and chit chat. Some interesting guys but no real contenders... especially when I realized the tall cute guy I was talking to was someone's serious boyfriend. Doh! I met a couple of excellent girls though and got their numbers, and it's always good to renew the ranks of the single girlfriends. Sometimes I think that's better than meeting men!

As the evening wore on, there were a couple of hotties in attendance. Much to my delight, an especially cute one took a shine to me. I'm not sure how much brain was in that pretty little head of his, but his likeness to Keith Olbermann was a total turn on and my (potentially) unwarranted geek crush was in full bloom.

We continued to interact throughout the evening when I started to pick up on his playboy vibe, I politely and discreetly told him that although I was definitely attracted to him, we were after two very different things. I was interested in more substance and since he seemed to be more interested in action, perhaps he'd do better with someone else at the party.

Undaunted, he continued his pursuit and well... eventually, he finally caught me. We left the party and stayed up all night.

He's already called and left a message to follow up. Sweet. No plans yet, but we'll see.

Date 72 - Ringing In the New Year

The New Year -- It wasn't with a bang. More like a whimper.

I feel like I've known D for ages. We connected online and developed a sort of friendship. He lives in Houston. I like knowing that he was out there and rooting for me. We'd talked about meeting for ages, but with his travel schedule and mine it just never seemed to happen, and frankly, wasn't that much of a priority for me.

D decided for us though. No time like the present. He booked a room at the Omni downtown and alerted his college friends in town that he'd be visiting.

It was high alert. Although I was stoked about meeting him, I was dreading it too. I wasn't on my A-game...and truth be told, I liked this guy!

I'd been sick for weeks with some viral / bronchial / cedar fever nonsense, and still wasn't completely well. But more importantly, my head wasn't in the game... I was focused on the house. Baseboards... flooring... paint...

I was relishing my time away from the office. Almost two whole weeks over Christmas and New Years. I didn't check email once... although I did occasionally experience anxiety over what nightmares would await my return. The "unplugging" was really good for me. I focused on making a serious dent in the remodeling projects -- and although I didn't get as far as I would have liked, major progress was made, and I felt like I was finally regaining momentum. It had been more than a week since I'd worn normal clothes or makeup.

This date seemed like a disruption.
A distraction.

And I just felt weird meeting this guy that I actually knew. It wasn't like it was a blind date... and yet it was. And somehow he convinced me to give up prime time - New Years Eve!

I spent most of the day running errands and trying to expunge physical evidence of my manual labor. I scrubbed as much paint off my hands as humanly possible and then splurged on a manicure. I went shopping for a new outfit and ultimately wore something that I already had. I slapped on some makeup and got my hair did and hightailed it downtown to the hotel to get him for dinner.

I walked into the lobby and there he was. *sigh*
He looked great. ... and he's my perfect height too... I felt positively girlish as we walked a few blocks down to Carmelo's for dinner.

The guy had it together. He'd been through finishing school... all subtle but noticeable and lovely manners. For instance, he took the curbside as we walked... had his hand on the small of my back when we were on unstable ground... opened the doors...

Dinner was delish, but it was obvious that he didn't feel well. I worried for a moment that it just wasn't working out, but then my empathy kicked in. I'd been sick for weeks and remembered how bad it was while I was still at work and felt like hell but didn't "look sick". I felt his forehead and he was burning up. We had planned to go to Antone's or another venue later, but I gave him a free pass. He needed to rest, and although cancelling our plans seemed lame, I certainly wasn't going out solo on a major holiday (although, you never know who you might smooch).

I walked him back to the hotel. We held hands. I gave him a hug goodnight (germs, you know...can't be too careful).

He insisted that we have brunch the next day before he drove back to Houston.
I appreciated the sentiment, but this seemed like even more of a pain in the ass. Now I'd lose two days on the house projects instead of one. It was New Year's Eve and I was home by 10:30. At least I'd get a decent night's sleep.

We went to Chez Zee for brunch the next day and had some of the most horrendous service ever. Evidently our order never got put in. Brunch would up lasting about 3 1/2 hours. Although we've always had great conversations, at that point even your fantasy dinner party with all the dead famous people would be flagging.

Finally, I bid him adieu.
We still chat, but I think some of the mystique is gone. At least for him.
I'm no longer his fantasy girl next door online... now I inhabit the real world.