Speed Hating

A good friend of mine needed help getting back in the saddle. I offered to be her moral support and go speed dating with her. After signing up for an event in January that was cancelled, we finally got around to the make up session, but now I think I'm actually the one that needs help.

It wasn't the best week for me, but I committed to doing this and didn't want to back out. I wasn't in my best form to start with, then things got progressively worse.

You know you've been dating too much when you go out to try to widen your circle a bit and run into more people you already know. The panic hit me the moment we walked in -- I knew the host.... but how? Oh sweet Jesus, how do I know this guy? Have I dated him? Or worse? My stomach was in knots. My dear friend put a deathgrip on my arm to prevent the fight or flight response and dragged me over to the bar.

One and a half vodka and crans later, I remembered where I knew him from. Yes, there was an interest... but nothing ever happened. There was a stretch of time where I kept bumping into him and of course there was plenty of flirting and even a phone call or two, but I don't recall an actual date. *Whew!*

We finally get things started and I begin to feel boring talking to these guys who want to know what I like to do for fun. My interests are so broad, this is always tough for me to pick just one or two things... but lately, there's not much time for fun for me so I just talk about generic fun: hanging out at the lake, live music, blah, blah... The more of these guys I talk to, the more generic I feel.

It's not a bad turn out. The guys seem OK. There are no prison guards, and just one borderline creepy guy. Two if you count the one ogling me before the event. Plenty of average attractive guys though. One really cute short guy and an intriguing aloof guy. At least 2 of them are suitably lubricated from their frosty adult beverages to be full on flirtacious. I'm thankful for that. I'll take it.

I'm finally starting to relax, it's one of the final rounds and here comes a nice tall attractive guy that I didn't notice earlier. How did I miss him? I'm starting to feel glad I came... and then as he nears my table, I see it's yet ANOTHER guy I already know.

This one doesn't trouble me though; I immediately place him. He's a nice attractive guy I've met through a mutual friend and I would have loved to date him.

Notice the past tense there. "I would have loved to date him."

As he sits down, I greet him warmly and refresh his memory, reminding him that we've met before at our friend's house. I tell him it's nice to see him again. He seems ok, but a few seconds later he jumps back spastically as if Cosmo Kramer has taken posession of his body and points at me as he exclaims, "Oh my god! You're that crazy girl that's writing about all her dates! You're a freak!"

Um.... wow. Well... how do you respond to that? I was shocked. Hurt.
Here I thought he was this nice guy that I might actually like to date, and he's calling me names. Nice.

I tell him he can be excused from the remaining 3 and a half minutes if he'd like.
...and now I'm wishing I didn't come at all.

But it gets me thinking about all this...
I am NOT a freak.

The reason I'm doing this is motivation. I know I'm going to have to go on alot of dates before I find a good match for me. I've already had more than my fair share of guys with issues and "fixer-uppers"... and it's tough out there. It's tough to keep going in the face of adversity... when no one seems right... and when men behave badly.

I don't have steely resolve. It's hard enough to be putting yourself out there, and I sure as hell don't need to be called names.

I guess he wasn't nearly as nice a guy as I thought he was.

Mistaken We-dentity

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have a boyfriend. He's cute, smart and funny and obviously we're very happy... and although we've have been dating awhile we're clearly still basking in the glow of being a new couple.

Lies... all lies!!!
Where DO people get this stuff? What am I - a C-list celebrity? People are speculating like the tabloids!

A few weeks back I went to a friend's infant birthday party where I was thrilled to catch up with a friend that I might only see a handful of times in a year. We're busy people, leading busy lives and although we enjoy each other's company, we've never been particularly close. Since we've known each other, at every party we attend, we've always found a place to sit and kibbitz.

It's not news. Regardless of our respective relationship status, it's the way we've always been. Even when he has a girlfriend. Even when I have a boyfriend. It doesn't mean there's an interest though, and we're not dating.

It's funny though, the non-boyfriend in question and I don't even hug anymore. At this party where everyone assumed we were dating, he gave me the most lame ass half-hug I've ever experienced in my life. I felt gross and pathetic after that kind of contact. Hug me gladly or don't touch me at all! I don't need your pity! ...and I don't want to be like the woman on Seinfeld that Jerry doesn't want to kiss, but is forced to since precedence has been established.

I called him on it and gave him an out. I'd rather have no physical contact at all than some show of mock affection, so we've settled for bowing at each other like judo opponents. I think that's fair. Awkward, but fair.

Mutual Admiration Society

Today I had lunch with a new colleague for the second time...and although he's married, we're clearly in love!

Don't get me wrong people... I have conviction and my moral fiber is intact - Married Men Are OFF LIMITS. I would never do anything inappropriate there. I respect the sanctity of the institution. I even know his lovely wife (turns out we used to work for the same company).

But here's a guy who is smart, cute and funny and just as interested in me as I am in him. There's no denying it. We click.

I felt bad that we lingered so long over lunch. There I was, just yapping away. I felt guilty that I kept him from his work and that I played hooky for as long as I did just to spend a little extra time with him at the restaurant, but when I got back to my office (7 miles away from his) there was already an email from him singing my praises.

Yes, I have already asked if he has a brother.
There are two.

*sigh*... Both married.

The thing is, it's so lovely to bask in his company. All his praise makes me feel like it's a no brainer that I'm still single, because after all... from his perspective I'm an incredible catch.

Except for that whole being married part, he's exactly what I'm looking for in a guy. Even if he's off-limits ...and that's VERY reassuring to know I'm so appealing. :)

International Mojo

I'm working hard these days. Taking it for the team.

My 4th of July was spent in a narrow metal tub hurtling towards Britain. In coach - just in case you thought there was any glamour or even comfort involved. I left at noon; no fireworks for me. I arrived in London late on the morning of the 5th and was promptly picked up by a cab driver.

...and I don't mean driven.

Jools was a cutie, but clearly clinging fondly to the hair band days of ye olde 80's.

Can't blame a bloke for trying. He insisted that I take his number in case I changed my mind about getting together with him on Friday night (my only free time during my stay before departing the next morning).

It's good to know that even after a full day and night's travel, with no makeup on and poor hygiene the mojo still exists.