Mistaken We-dentity

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have a boyfriend. He's cute, smart and funny and obviously we're very happy... and although we've have been dating awhile we're clearly still basking in the glow of being a new couple.

Lies... all lies!!!
Where DO people get this stuff? What am I - a C-list celebrity? People are speculating like the tabloids!

A few weeks back I went to a friend's infant birthday party where I was thrilled to catch up with a friend that I might only see a handful of times in a year. We're busy people, leading busy lives and although we enjoy each other's company, we've never been particularly close. Since we've known each other, at every party we attend, we've always found a place to sit and kibbitz.

It's not news. Regardless of our respective relationship status, it's the way we've always been. Even when he has a girlfriend. Even when I have a boyfriend. It doesn't mean there's an interest though, and we're not dating.

It's funny though, the non-boyfriend in question and I don't even hug anymore. At this party where everyone assumed we were dating, he gave me the most lame ass half-hug I've ever experienced in my life. I felt gross and pathetic after that kind of contact. Hug me gladly or don't touch me at all! I don't need your pity! ...and I don't want to be like the woman on Seinfeld that Jerry doesn't want to kiss, but is forced to since precedence has been established.

I called him on it and gave him an out. I'd rather have no physical contact at all than some show of mock affection, so we've settled for bowing at each other like judo opponents. I think that's fair. Awkward, but fair.