Date 83: Fashion yes, Passion eh.....?

originally posted Saturday, January 21, 2006

It's Saturday afternoon. I just got in from brunch and heard that it's officially on with the muckety-mucks! Next week I'll be chowing on a very expensive steak or slab o' fresh fish with some corporate big wigs while I sing for my supper by telling them about how wonderful and knowledgeable I am in my particular niche of expertise and all the cool stuff I can do for them.

This could be it. I may be breaking through the glass ceiling and headed for an executive office for the first time in my life. After struggling with my fashion selections for this week's interview with a different company, I decided it's probably time to splurge on something a little more hip in the way of suits. Although I haven't worn one regularly for ages, I have several that are just fine, thank you very much. They do the job. They convey competence and professionalism but they're not very sophisticated. Not sassy. Not sexy. Not "apprentice-y" enough.

This is the big league. I will NOT be under dressed. I want these guys to fall in love with me... in whatever way is necessary. I'm trolling Ann Taylor online (please, cross your fingers that my order arrives in time!) when lo and behold I hear from F.

F is yet another random internet guy who's been itching to meet me for ages. He seems cool enough. Works in tech. Drives a mini-cooper convertible. Super positive and friendly... but not in the annoying nice guy way. Every time he offers to take me to dinner, I'm booked solid even way in advance. This time I told him if he twisted my arm I'd meet him for a drink. I'm feeling spontaneous. Afterall, I've got to head out to Banana Republic in the Arboretum to peruse their suit selections and see if there's anything ripe for the plucking. Then I've got a party to go to.

Win-win. Another drive-by date. The more I date, the more important I feel it is to keep these initial meetings short and sweet. We plan to meet at NXNW at 5:45. I'm there, he's not. I go to the bathroom and fluff my hair up, check my makeup. I'm aight.

I sit down at a high-top, order a hard cider and break out my calendar. If I'm going to be sitting here alone, I might as well make the time productive. F finally arrives and holy cow, he's actually cute. I mean, he truly does look better in person than in his photo! He's a shortie, but I knew that going in.

He sits down, orders himself a beer and we're lost in chatter for over an hour. We get a second round. It's home improvement horror stories, tales of procrastination and woe. Family talk about fertility and nieces and nephews. Moving downtown and the Austin real estate market. The holiday recap, et cetera. I'm actually having fun. I feel bad that we both have someplace else we need to be. But that's a good thing... always leave 'em wanting more.

He grabs the check. There's some mention of dinner when my schedule calms down again. He walks me to my car. He misses my cue for the half hug and takes my hand. Ugh! Now I have to do the lean in hug while he's still got my hand. (Sigh) Awkward. Just when I thought things were looking up...

...but I'm off to buy myself a sexy suit.

Date 84 - Express Lane

originally posted Tuesday, January 17, 2006

M is yet another in the endless parade of random internet men. He's been chatting me up for ages now, probably going on a year. We've even spoken on the phone before. Every once in awhile he gets a wild hair and pushes to meet me in person.

Today was his lucky day.

With the way things have been plodding along with J, I figured I could use a little spike of adrenaline. I've got job interviews and executive pitches to make for work this week. It's high stress and my self esteem could use a little boost. Nothing like an extra deposit of confidence in the ego account to put a little swagger in your step.

I was nervous though. As soon as I realized I was going to do this my hands went cold and I started to sweat. The ongoing flirtation with M is fun and men never measure up to their online personas. A part of me wants to get it over with though so there won't be any impropriety when (if?) things continue to progress with J. I took some solace in knowing this was just going to be a "quickie". I had an appointment to go to afterwards, so we agreed to keep it brief. A drive-by date, if you will.

I strolled into Whole Foods in the Arboretum and pushed my way through the patchouli scented crowd towards the sandwich counter. How on earth is it this crowded in the middle of the day? Don't these hippies work for a living? He saw me first. I expected he would since he's seen more pictures of me.

No matter how many times I do this, I never cease to be amazed at how wildly men differ from their pictures in real life. Are they kings of Photoshop? Royalty of retouching? Clearly there was never any reason to get worked up.

I remind myself that I'm wearing clogs so I'm probably clocking in at 6' even. M is still taller than me but he's slouchy and not the 6'5" he claimed. He's .... well.... how to put this? It could have been an optical illusion with the clothes he was wearing, but he's oddly shaped. A doughy physique must be an occupational hazard for musical composers.

He's obviously brilliant. His wit is as evident in person as online. We have some kind of sado-masochistic spark but the whole date feels more odd and awkward for me. He's much more into this than I am. I'm curious but a bit freaked. He's just enjoying this and hoping for more. I'm just wishing I could go back to the time when his rich dreamy caramel voice was all I knew of him.