Tidings of Comfort and Joy

It's so nice to be back from the holiday and sleeping in my own bed again.
The dog is thrilled too, although she was spoiled while I was gone.

While I was away, I had a lovely date and I'm starting to conclude that maybe it's my fate to be forever single... and maybe that's lucky. Here's a guy that adores me, whom I adore right back, all the while realizing that if we lived in the same town we'd probably kill each other, or just cause a righteous rip in the space/time continuum. At times, we've thought there was potential for something serious but the pressure always messed things up. Now that neither of us is particularly locked in to that line of thought, we're able to just relax and enjoy.

After driving three hours or more, he picked me up at my mom's house. It's exceedingly weird to wait to be picked up from a parent's house for a date when you're in your thirties. As soon as we were out of sight, he planted a big one on me and I melted. We've known each other for a few years now, and every time I see him, it seems as if no time has passed.

We started with an art opening and some beautiful sculpture, paintings and prints. We didn't even get out of the building before he was dragging me into a darkened doorway to steal a kiss. We walked around downtown and perused our restaurant choices before settling on a cute little Thai place. The food was excellent and the time just flew by as we gave each other all the major updates on our lives.

We drove around for a bit and then headed down to the lake. It was so pretty to see lights twinkling in the hills. I was struck by how new and different a familiar place can feel when you're finally all grown up and with the right company. Although, I've been living and visiting this town for 20 years now, I never drive there. I'm normally not a grown up when I'm there.

Next we went to a hipster lesbian owned bar hoping we'd get a chance to take in a little live music, but no luck, cocktails would have to suffice. Just as well. We were 5 hours in and still had a million things to talk about. I unburdened myself and felt myself open to him in a way that rarely happens even with close friends, let alone men. There's just something about him... maybe it's the way he leans in and strokes my back, part hug, part comfort, part longing, all natural.

I know nothing is going to happen with him. He's up there. I'm down here. Never the twain shall meet. I don't think I'd even want anything more to develop. Why mess with perfection? I'm just comforted to know he shares this earth. Even if he's not mine.

Going Nowhere Fast

Apologies for the lag in posting, dear readers. You'd think it's because things have been progressing with a certain someone, but you'd be wrong...

Things seemed to be moving along with A for awhile there. I even thought I might be getting off this dating treadmill for awhile. I was teeter-tottering. I thought we were going somewhere, but it seems as if we've gone nowhere fast. Bottom line, he's just not that into me.

I get it.

My frustration is that things could be moving along with someone and then hit an invisible brick wall. That's nothing new, right? OK, well, add in the new modern twist of the brick wall consistently sending random instant messages to you at work despite that he's not into you. He's not asking you out, he's not calling, but he feels the need to check in with you constantly. What the crap is that?! It's beyond annoying. Do you think I finally nipped it in the bud? In a fit of frustration, when he was pinging me to find out how my weekend was and I recently wrote, "Great. I got married!"

Well, if nothing else, this has pushed me back to an old standby (Date 90)...and I do mean OLD.

D has been really sweet and although I don't think we're heading toward anything, he's easy enough to be with and is starting to grow on me. My friend Nikki says I'm approaching intimacy with him and to go with that. I'm not so sure that I want to go there. I mean, I DO want to go there, I'm just not sure I want to go there with him.

Where I have gone is to the great white North to visit my mom for Thanksgiving. It took me 12 hours to get here and I slept like Rip Van Winkle last night. It's good to have a little extra time this week and a little distance from the recent work related nonsense I've been enduring. A heated mattress pad kept me toasty warm and recently cancelled international projects let my mind relax for the first time in weeks.

It's such a different pace up here. Sloooooow.
The local paper here has three sections and is still thinner than a menu at a decent restaurant.
The hot topic is high school sports. Especially the girl's swim team that won the state championship - two full pages of articles. That's news!
I like to think that maybe I could move someplace quiet like this and start over. Maybe there's no need to go through the nonsense I do, the traffic, the corporate BS, the pace of life.

I might have a job opportunity soon that will give me an option to kick things WAY up into the really big leagues, or turn them down a few notches from a lifestyle perspective. I'm considering alot of things right now.

But I love Austin. I've made a little nest of friends... my own little family. I love the art. The theater. The music. The general attitude. I was wound up tight after dinner last Thursday and went to see my friend's band play and in the process discovered some excellent deep fried southern rock in the form of Uncle Lucius. They won't be on the menu in either of the places I might move to.

Tonight's menu includes a date. Yes, I'm 1,500 miles away from home and I have a date. He's driving three and a half hours to take me to dinner. Haven't seen him in eons. Of course, he's pulling hard for me to make the big league move because I'd be closer to him and it is tempting...

I guess this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for options.