Date 76, or Another Reason to Remain Single

H was a match from Speed Dating a few weeks back. We'd been playing phone tag trying to set something up. He'd suggest a date and inevitably it wouldn't work with my schedule. Finally, I counter-offered for Friday and it looked like we finally had a winner; he left me a voicemail saying that was perfect. We would go find a patio somewhere and enjoy some wine and conversation.

When he finally caught me and we had an actual real-time conversation by phone he was enthusiastic and excited about our date. He confessed that he actually had already scheduled a date for Friday, but he already cancelled it because he really wanted to see me. I think he meant that as a compliment, but it came off kind of shady. ...I made a mental note, strike one. We worked out the details and our plans were set. Friday night at Central Market, 7pm. Not Whole Foods though, because that's where his original date was supposed to be. Eww...strike two...

Thursday night I was out at a movie with a friend and missed his call. I checked my voicemail on the way into work Friday morning and heard a message for the "You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me" Files:

"Hey,_______, I know we've got plans for Friday, but my original date just
called and she already spent money on some wine tasting event and I hate to be a
jerk..."

[oooh, too late...]

"Because like I said, she already spent the money, so I hope
we can take a raincheck."

I did appreciate getting advance warning and not being stood up, at least there was a modicum of courtesy there. I called back and thankfully got his voicemail so I let him know I received his call:

"Got your message, don't worry about tonight. Have a good weekend and I'll catch up with you some other time."

By some other time, I meant half past never.

He called BACK and left this voicemail:

"Hey _____, You are SO wonderful and understanding! I guess
another option
and I didn't even think about this, but I guess I could have
purchased
another wine tasting ticket and taken you as well, but that would have
been
kind of awkward. But anyway, you have a wonderful weekend, call
me, blah blah, blah..."

Ick, ick, ick!

And also, eww.

All of this probably sounds bitter, but really I was thankful to have gotten all this insight before I put in any real time or energy. I was happy to have my Friday night back so I could enjoy a good friend's company over dinner, and thrilled to be spared a likely painful date with a shady guy who puts the Ass in Asperger's Syndrome.

Date 77 - Back in the Saddle

I met J at Speed Hating a few weeks back. He's fair haired, attractive and mild. His demeanor was almost as flat as a can of Coke left open overnight. Sweet, but no bubbles whatsoever. Then again, I wasn't in my best form the day we met, so I was happy to give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe he was just tired. Besides, 4 minutes is barely long enough to say hello, let alone get to know someone.

I was glad when he showed up as a match. Maybe a little surprised - it can be really hard to predict who will take an interest.

I've been slammed at work lately. Even my mother was starting to inquire if I would ever date again in this lifetime. So when J called me to make plans, I didn't hesitate to call him back, even though it was a Friday night and I was on my way out for drinks and dinner with colleagues in from Europe.

Before this crazy job I might have waited awhile to return his call. I wouldn't have wanted to seem overeager or too available. Now, I don't have time to care. Besides, I wanted to get something set up while he still remembered me. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'... into the future. I was dead set on making this happen, even if I had to cram it into an hour.

We arranged a mid-week lunch and I finnagled a way to meet him in between taking my dog to the vet, teleconferences and dental appointments. I walked in the door of P.F. Chang's and there he was. MUCH cuter than I recalled. A quick hug and friendly greeting and we were off to our table, his hand ever-so-gently guiding me on the small of my back. Smooth.

Our waiter was hilarious. I think he's got previous work experience from a Disney park. We listened to a well rehearsed spiel about his sauce making ability and he continued to use his tour guide demeanor through out the meal.

The conversation was light. The food was yummy; I was happy to share my orange peel shrimp with him. As an attorney, J is going to have no problem relating to my work hours, but with his pricey home in the rolling hills on the upper NW side of town, he might not relate to my financial philosophy. Comparatively, my lifestyle could be considered white trash. Afterall, Hank and Peggy Hill live right next door to me - diggy-dang-dong-ding.

I had no chance to offer to split the check. J adroitly placed his card in the folio at almost the instant it arrived. He mentioned wanting to get together again soon when he got back to Austin (he was flying out that afternoon). We walked out to our cars and parted ways.

Speed Hating: The Update

After being insulted and caught off guard, I somehow lost my notes on all the speed dates, which meant flying blind on selecting who I would be willing to see again.

This has resulted in a really odd market research experiment. Being noteless meant having to click on every possibility and seeing who (if anyone) selected me too.

The results are in and though I'm not quite as popular as Trident, I'm not doing too bad either. 40% of last week's speed daters choose "The Master Dater" to see again. Of course the creepy guy is included in these figures, but thankfully he's refrained from stalking for the time being.

3 of them have even emailed so far. Not too shabby considering I already knew the host, and the verbally abusive Brazilian was out of the running.

And so, the countdown resumes...


P.S. Here's some good shtick on the whole sordid experience of Speed Hating.