Null Effect

It was well after 7pm when I finally made it home from work. Since I've been feeling so isolated at the office, I really didn't want to have dinner alone, but it looked that way until I remembered that my friend S had mentioned sushi earlier in the week. I buzzed him.

Sushi wouldn't work tonight, but he invited me to join him. Although I have less than zero interest in watching basketball, this particular neighborhood bar has good food and I was already right around the corner.

I zipped in and immediately saw my former stunt husband from Mexico sitting at a table with a friend (or possibly a date?). It was great to see him and we spent a few minutes catching up. Then I rounded the corner to grab a chair next to my friend when I noticed someone whom it was not so pleasant to see.

A former mega crush.

I've always had the most intense chemical attraction to him. Beyond butterflies. To the point of nausea. Just seeing him from across the room would make me short of breath. I still remember the first time I saw him, one afternoon from across the room. My cheeks flushed and my stomach flipped over. My pulse raced.

Later that night, we wound up at a party. He stayed late and drove me home. We made out for hours. We saw more of each other. Other parties, hanging out with friends, and parking in my convertible, stargazing. Kissing for hours. Since we had mutual friends and a hobby in common, we spent a fair amount of time together and I thought there was potential. Even my dog fell for him. He's the only man she's NEVER barked at. She's a scrappy dog and protective of me, but for him she immediately fell over and exposed her belly.

Obviously, the dog is not the best judge of character.

My mega crush turned out to be a mega jerk in the end. I'll spare you the gory details, but there was a very indecent proposal. Unbelievably offensive. Unrecoverable... and to me, unforgivable. That cinched things for me. I was out. Thankful that I had learned my lesson before I got in too deep with him. Still, it didn't matter what a jerk he was, every time I saw him, I was still flushed and flustered. Flummoxed.

Not tonight though. When I saw him it was a non event. I recognized him immediately, but had less than zero interest in him. Not an ounce of attraction left. Not a glimmer. Nothing. Nada. It might have helped that he's not looking so hot these days. Put on some weight. Has something odd happening with his facial hair... some kind of soul patch or some nonsense.

I sat down next to my friend S and got comfortable. We exchanged pleasantries. I ordered and enjoyed my food. At some point the former crush/jerk took notice of me. He was trying to engage me and I thought he might come over to say hello and catch up, but we were able to avoid that with a smile and a curt nod of my chin. We left it at that and my dinner was delicious.

High Tech Pamplona

The new commute SUCKS.

OK, so it's not that bad, but I feel caught in a downward spiral of social isolation because we're in the middle of nowhere. Lunch with friends is no longer an option and the hours are keeping me from my regular routine at the gym. Lack of endorphins makes the MasterDater a cranky bitch.

It's exciting though. I traded one set of problems for another when I quit and took the new job. In the old job, I was a calf slated to become veal. The youngest chippy in a group of old guys. Not allowed to roam freely or exercise. I was supposed to stay in my cage and not complain about being force-fed. Now the cage has been thrown open and I'm supposed to join in the running of the bulls. Pray that I don't get trampled!

I'm trying to reserve judgment until I get settled. This could be an excellent gig or a hateful existence. It's a toss up really. On the upside, I like the boss. Heck, just having a boss in the local vicinity is a huge improvement. On the downside, I can't imagine having time to date while I'm ramping up... and I also feel like the ramping up might never stop. This could be the end of my dating career and the beginning of my life as a spinster.

Forget the kids vs. career track dilemma... what about the life vs. career dilemma? And how are you supposed to provide for yourself if you don't pick career? Find a sugar daddy?

Date Ready ... Everyday

My tired tresses needed tidying and even though I'd booked my appointment far in advance, I HAD to have my hair cut.

Immediately!!!

It was getting to the point where I was willing to go to SuperCuts and risk a mullet or a bowl cut just to get some relief! ... the point where you start contemplating going with a completely different look or even cutting it all off for a change. Very dangerous!

But in the nick of time, Jessica from Jackson Ruiz hooked me up with another great cut. She's fabulous. Maybe it was my relief at getting squeezed in for an early appointment, but she looked even more adorable than the last time I was in. So adorable, in fact, that I went magazine mental.

You know the phenomenon. When you see a picture in a magazine of a blonde with long wavy hair and a tiny waifish build and you emphatically hand it to a stylist and say, "make me look like this!". No matter that you're a tall curvy eastern european woman with dark straight locks and a very ample bosom. When you're magazine mental, anything is possible!

Because I was "magazine mental" over Jessica's eyes that day, I consented to let another stylist give me a makeup consultation after my hair was done. No matter that Jessica has large, widely spaced pale blue green eyes and mine are ... well, not like hers at all.

OK, so the end result didn't turn me into Jessica... but it did actually give me a bit of a lift. I'm doing my eyes a bit differently now and I think it really does make a difference. Opens them up a bit more. It's fresh. I can't believe I've had this face for 33 years and I JUST learned how to apply makeup. Blame my previous errors on the folks at M.A.C. -- they taught me what I had been doing wrong for the past 2 1/2 years.

While I was complimenting Jessica on her expert makeup and totally together appearance, she confessed that it's a requirement of the salon. They are expected to look "Date Ready" every day. Having gone on as many dates as I've been on already and having so many more to go, I was exhausted just thinking about that kind of morning routine.

But it's something to aspire to! If I master this, maybe lining up the rest of the dates will be effortless.

Then again, maybe it's not so hard... Most men would never notice something as subtle as eye makeup anyway. Maybe it's just a function of picking out a cute outfit for work ahead of time and ensuring that one's shoes are sassy enough to inspire a haughty gait while walking into the office.

Faking it

I finally gave my notice at work and then headed down to San Antonio that afternoon for the next morning's flight to Mexico. Although I'd still have two weeks of time to serve at the old job, at least I'd scratch off a few days from my sentence in a tropical locale. Since my negotiations with the new job were finally complete, I'd have that off my list too. Relaxation was on the horizon.

On Saturday night, enjoying our first dinner on the island, I couldn't help but notice that everyone matched. Everywhere I looked, people looked like they just belonged together. Not just couples either... whole groups of friends lifted from some ad campaign for California wine or BMW. One of these things is not like the others, and as usual that thing is me.

The vacation wasn't nearly long enough for me to fully relax, thanks in part to a nasty bout of travel sickness. I'm not sure if I had a virus or food poisoning, but does it really matter when it reduced my beach time to only two weak and feeble days? And no, wise guys, I did NOT drink the water!

On the bright side, I saved a fortune on food and drinks since nothing is appetizing when you're that ill. It was also the first vacation I've ever had where I didn't feel at all compelled to go sight seeing or exploring. Since I've been to the same island before, I felt fully justified to just lay low under an umbrella on the beach (once I was well enough to leave the hotel room again).

It was nice to have a stunt husband to keep me company under the umbrella too. My friend B was part of the gaggle of geeks on this trip with me, and he was a godsend. He checked in on me in my darkest hours and even ran errands for me. Como se dice El Gatorade?

He was basically everything I needed. He'd chit chat when necessary and enjoy the quiet with me too. He never once interrupted my plodding through a massive 988 page tome and didn't seem the least bit annoyed when the italian footnotes had me cackling with laughter. He was willing to forego dinner with the gang for quieter conversation and more spontaneous meals.

Maybe all I really need is a stunt husband?